Posted on July 22, 2009 in Uncategorized
It is January 2008 and I have mad the decision to have gastric bypass. WHY? Because I am doing this for me and only me. I love doing for others, my family, my friends, other in general. For once in my life, I am doing for me and only me. I don’t feel selfish about this decision. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and this tool will help me gain some control over that aspect of my life. Weight is my enemy. I am going to take control. I have selected Dr. Champion in Marietta, GA, to perform my surgery at Northside Hospital in Altanta, GA. Dr. Champion has done a friends surgery over five years ago. I am scheduled for Feb. 26th for my surgery. I have had my husband take pictures of me before.
Before 300lbs
Feb. 24th, 2008
I haven’t told many people about my surgery. Not that I don’t want them to know. I don’t want any negativity over it. Again, this is for me, not them. I am doing this for me and my future.
Feb. 26th, 20008
This is the morning of my surgery. I am nervous, but not much. Here I go…
The surgury took about an hour. I have six small scars that a bandaid can cover. I am swollen. I have been up walking around about three hours after my surgery. I am a little scared, but I can’t turn back now. I will write more tomorrow.
PS This morning we left the home at 5pm. There was a tornado in Carrollton this morning and it hit our trampoline and some of our trees in the yard. We didn’t know this until later in the day.
Feb. 27th, 2008
I am up moving around. I am not taking the pain medicine, rather the Tylenols only. A little sore, but doing good. I am restless in the room by myself. I have been calling friends and family.
Feb. 28th, 2008
I am here by myself. Lonely, but trying to read all my material. Still walking the halls and eating popcicles. Grape is my favorite
Feb. 29th, 2008
Going home today! Yeah. Scared, but having a positive outlook. Liquid diet for first two weeks.
This is getting easier. I can actually eat food, that is liquid. Lots of soups, creamy mashed potatoes, anything really pureed. I can do this.
Week one, lost 14 lbs. OMG this is such a blessing.
At four weeks, we are going to Disney and on a Disney Cruise. The Dr. says I am doing fine. I will be on soft food then. I can do this.
Week two – I love potatoe soup and oyster soup.
Week three – I am doing it!
Week four – Mickey Mouse here I come. I have studied my maps for all the parks and know where to eat. I can eat scrambled eggs for breakfast and toast. For lunches I will eat soft veggies and fruit. For dinners, we will eat fish. I can do this.
WOW – who can say they have been on a cruise and loose weight? I lost five pounds at Disney! See attached picture
Disney at four weeks post op.
The next time I come, I will fit in all the rides!
Disney Cruise at four weeks post op. About 20 lbs off
Week 18 – Zach and I did the Peachtree together! We went with Sherri and her Dad again this year. I DID IT!
Week 20- visit KY and grandma. Feeling Great!
20 Weeks Post op. About 60 lbs off
Week 23 – Bailey’s 5h Birthday Party. 90 lbs off.
90 lbs off
Week 24 – Six month check up. 93 lbs off. Above average on weight loss. I wanted to have 100 lbs off, but not quite there just yet.
Week 27 – 100 lbs off as of Friday, Sept. 12th
What a blessing this has been. Only those who have failed the fight with their weigh like I have will truely appreciate this achievement. I still have more to go, but this is he closest I have been to my dream EVER.
Week 28
I have had to go buy some cloths this week. Weird buying cloths. I keep going to the plus section of the store. It is weird to go to the “normal” side. I always grab larger sizes, thinking I will need them. When I try them on, I need smaller sizes. It is playing with my mind to go cloths shopping. I didn’t buy but two outfits. That… Read More seems to be my magic number at a time. I wear these two until I need another size.
Another observation this week. My feet have changed. I tried on three pairs of shoes Sunday for church and they were too big. WEIRD. I guess I didn’t realize how fat my foot was. I know at the Dr., they measure my ankle and it has gotten smaller. Now I have to buy new shoes. That is too hard. It is hard for me to find that perfect shoe that I like and that fits and wears good. Some women have a shoe thing going on, not me. I do like a good pair of shoes, but not the obsessive way. So, if you are a shoe goddess, yell at me and take me shoe shopping.
Week 29
Compliments and Self Esteem
These are two trouble areas in my life right now. I have never taken compliments very well. I have always been told that my self esteem is low. Go figure with my personality! Anyhow, I don’t take compliments well at all. I always try to change the subject, avoid it , or down play it. It has gotten harder … Read Morenow. People compliment you on the weight loss and I don’t do well taking it. I really didn’t notice this until a friend of mine brought it to my attention. We were in a conversation with another friend and she said that everytime I got a compliement, I down played it. She said that I need to accept them and be proud. After reviewing the conversations, I realized I did do that . I don’t know why or how to stop. The counsulors say you will have this problem with weight loss. I guess I have always had this issue, but more so since the weight loss. So, please bear with me if I don’t react to compliments when given. I have issues with that and I will try to work on it.
Fellow Patients
My friend Sherri. I guess you can say we have traveled the same road. I was her biggest cheerleader when she had her surgery. She is the reason I eventually had it done. She has been there for me during my surgery. When I have a milestone or question, she is there for me. We share a lot and we share the weight loss journey. I … Read Morerecently had lunch with an old coworker who just had her “body lift” done. She lost over 125 lbs with her surgery and had an additional 17 lbs of excess skin removed. She dropped another whole size just from the “body lift” and she looks amazing. She is a new woman. I am so proud of her also. The weight loss patients share something special in common. We have utlized a “TOOL” to change our lives. It isn’t easy or the easy way out. We have to work at it the same as a diet. However, we have a tool to use to help us. For those who have been overweight and fought it daily, this tool is a blessing from God. It is a miracle tool. It is just that a tool. Do not judge people who are using this tool. This tool is available to all who want it. My insurance did not cover my surgery. I have had to do without other things to pay for this surgery and I don’t regret a moment or a dollar of it. I would do it all over again. Even if you get bad comments or remarks, it is still worth it. I did this for me, not them.
Friends and Relationships
They say with extreme weight loss, your friends will change how they act towards you. I didn’t believe this would happen, but it has. I am shocked and amazed. I didn’t expect it. I have had some negative comments from friends about my weight loss that were not positive, rather negative and not nice. This is from both … Read Moreoverweight and normal friends. That was a surprise for me. I thought they would be all excited like I am. It does hurt that people you consider friends have changed the way they treat you. My body changing shouldn’t change my personal realtionships with friends, but it has. I am sad, but I can’t let them get me down. I still have a lot of work to do before I reach my goal. I will not be sabotaged by negative comments. Please don’t be negative to anyone who is struggling with their weight. They are fighting a battle that is the hardest thing to do in their life. Whether they are following a diet or had the miracle surgery, they are fig
hting a battle. Always, always be positive towards them. They need all the support they can get. Be there for them. Support them. Love them. Stay their friends. They need you. After all, they are your friends, be a friend to them no matter what.
Stress
Stress isn’t good for dieting. I have slowed down the past two weeks. I guess I hit the SLOW time. This doesn’t help me currently. My stress level is out the window. I can’t sleep, my brain seems to be in a daze, I am giving into bad habits of not eating right, everything seems to be falling apart at the seams and I have no control … Read Moreover anything. The market, economy, and my work are taking a physical and mental toll on me. Last week was so bad that I stayed in bed for almost two days. This isn’t helping my diet. I have spent a lot of time in prayer for everything, but so many other people are worse off than I am. I try to pray for them also. It seems like I could spend hours and days just praying for myself and others. This week is better, but I am trying to keep my mind occupied. I guess I am ignoring my problems. The old head in the sand trick, but it is working. Please pray for my stress level. There is nothing anyone can do, but pray for peace my life. I can only do so much. I have been keeping all this inside for two weeks. I haven’t had anyone to confide this in, so I am typing it all out. Please hang in there with me while I work thru my issues.
Hair Loss
Yes, you will have hair loss after your surgery. Mine started thinning at my four month mark. I was hand fulls of hair. Lucky, I have thick hair. However, the doctor suggested I take Biotin and some iron supplements. Well, they work, but on the wrong hair. The are fertilizer for the hair on my legs! ha ha Only women would fully … understand this. The hair on my head has slowed down falling out, but the hair on my legs could be shaved twice a day. I have cut back on the supplements because of that. Why oh Why couldn’t the hair on my legs fall out instead! ha ha Just a fact that happens to be funny.
Last wk in Sept.
OMG what a week. It has been a total rollercoaster ride this week. I have lost all control with eating due to stress. I eat, I throw it up, I eat later, sometimes keep it down. I know how someone who is bulimic feels. I have three days where food has been my enemy. I have to gain control over my emotions and thus the food will come into line. Pray that I gain the control.
WOW What a week. From extreme lows to a wonderful high. I have been on the trill ride of a lifetime. I celebrated my son’s 10th birthday, what a blessing he is. I actually ate cake! I only ate a few bites, I didn’t want to get the “dumping feeling” and get sick. WOW, it is hard to believe I have a 10 year old. He is a total mess. I love … Read Morethat he thinks mommy has gotten taller. He doesn’t understand the weight loss, he says I look taller! ha ha I will take the comment and love it. Anyhow, this week has been the extreme in emotions. I have come to terms with a few things and I am looking forward to a better week, month, year, life. Thru all GOD all things are possible. I have the best friend every, GOD. He so wants to be your friend too. Just ask him!
The WII
Yes, I have had a profound moment with the Wii. I haven’t played it in many months. Not since my surgery. Anyhow, I had myself on there in cartoon. I had myself as fat. I had to size down my cartoon self! WOW, what a cool thing to shrink on the screen! Just had to share this neat moment with everyone.
Wee for Wii
I did it @ Six Flags
Yeah, I was able to ride all the rides with Bailey yesterday at Six Flags. I wasn’t able to the last time I was there. This was an emotional accomplishment for me. It was so satisfyling to be able to do this with her. She has grown so much and her expressions were priceless. Especially because she was doing it all with mom… Read More. Now, mom can fit on the rides with her and share this special experiences with her. A wonderful day. We were there for Zach’s 10th birthday. They talked James into riding Goliath, the large roller coaster. Something like 0-70 in the first drop and I can’t remember how may G-Forces, but anyhow, they wore James out! We had a great time.
I have been at the same weight for about three weeks. I am starting to get discouraged. I know I will hit a wall on the way down and I have hit it. I think my stress from work and personal are having an effect on the weight. I have been toning up. I have muscle definition in my arms and thighs. I also have a lot of flappy stuff there also! ha ha Pray that I will over come this stand still. I need something to go right in my life right now.
WOW, a new pants size today. I put on a new pair of Calvin Klein Jeans today. Size 14 Misses. A long way from size 26 Womens! I can still remember the old CK slogan, nothing comes between me an my Calvin Klein Jeans. Well, 105 pounds used to come between me an my new jeans! ha ha
Still holding at 105 lbs. I am hanging in there and thinking positive. We are working on our house. We need to be out of the house where we are living in about a week and a half. Praise God, we sold it. We are not making any money, actually loosing money, but it will get it off our books and off the payments each month. So, we are on … Read Moreaccelerated “hell week” before a house is completed. On top of that, James had volunteered us to be on the Christmas tour of home. WHEW and Weeee Here we go!
WOW, it has been almost a month since I have journaled on my weight loss journey. It has been a busy, stressful, and tireless month. We were moved out of our temporary home, moved into our friends pool house and stayed there nine days, moved into our new home, which is still being finished (painting, floors, trim, odds and end stuff). So, it has… Read More been rough. We filled up the three car garage and basement with all our stuff because we could not move it into the house until it was further along. I have completely unpacked all these boxes in five days. I am now starting on Christmas decoration tomorrow and the next day. I hope to have the home ready for the Charity Event which is four days away! Pray for me.
Oh, I unpacked the scales and I have lost 5 more pounds. I am off the holding pattern for now. I don’t recommend having the month I have had to loose weight. I am just thankful that I can perform all that I am doing with Gods Grace and Help. I am so thankful that he has allowed me to have this surgury and to do so well with it. There is no way I could do what I have done in the past week with 110 pounds on my. I would not have made it. Thanks be to God for this wonderful blessing called gastric bypass. Also, thanks for Tylenol for the pain, fluffy pillows to rest each night, and lots of hot water to scald away the pain of each day.
WOO HOO, I just tried on a new pair of size 12 jeans! I got them on! However, I need to watch what I eat tomorrow, they may not fit then! ha ha I am up to a total of 118 lbs lost in less than 10 months. What a Christmas Present to myself. I am blessed in so many ways. I have always been reluctant to ask for blessings for myself. I guess I … Read Morealways thought you were supposed to ask for other and not be greedy and ask for yourself. I used to also think God would strike you down with a bolt of lighting! ha ha My old fashioned baptist up brining! ha ha The old fire and brimstone, going straight to hell religion. I call myself a “modern baptist” now! Anyhow, since my surgury, I have asked for blessings associated to my weight loss progress. I don’t think it is vain to want to be healthy and happy. I feel so much better and I hope this feeling conveys like a beacon of light out of me. I want to share this with everyone. Continue to pray for me and others weight loss patients.
A new year and a new me!
I have been looking at pictures with me in them from the holiday season. I don’t recognize myself. Yeah, I see myself daily in the mirror, but I guess it hasn’t clicked. Weird
I weight two days in a row and both days, I had lost a total of 120 lbs in 10.5 months. WOW. I wore a new outfit that I had gotten several months ago as a “goal” outfit. A fellow friend who had the band surgery, and I were shopping together. She picked it out, because it is so not me. Paisley pants and satin shirt in baby blue and chocolate. … Read MoreShe said I would eventually be in that size and she was right. The weird thing, she has the same outfit. So, we could be twins if we wore it at the same time! ha ha However, hers is still a size smaller than mine. Maybe I need a new goal outfit! ha ha Actually I am thinking bathing suit. Nothing too revealing, just something slimming. That is going to be weird to shop for. I still catch myself going into the PLUS size departments. Old habits die hard.
100lbs Off
Jan 14 2009
I watched a old Oprah that I had recorded. She was interviewing Matt, one of the “Biggest Losers” who had gained back half his weight. They both were discussing their weight loss ups and downs. They both agreed on one issue. That it is an never ending battle, even when they loose the weight, you can’t stop fighting the battle. In other words … Read Moredo not “cocky” when you loose the weight. I agree with them on the never ending battle. I struggle daily with the “mind” games and the old habits. Yeah, I am loosing weight quickly, but I know in my mind that eventually it will stop. I have hit a stall period several months ago and struggled daily to over come it. I hope this has prepared me for when the weight loss stops. I hope I will be strong enough to fight the weight loss demons that we fight daily.
Jan. 23 2009
Well I seem to still be at a standstill on the weight. Per the doctors goal, I am twenty-five pounds away. Per my goal, I am five pounds away. I think it is the stress getting to my weight loss again. I know I shouldn’t let it get to me. However, I am trying sooo hard to have a positive outlook for the year. I keep saying “It will get better… Read More”, “I will hit my goal”, “All is well”. I keep that old hymn “It is well with my soul” in my head. I have had to read my favorite chapter from one of my favorite books titled “It is well with my soul” again. For those of you who have never read the book “Let’s Roll” by Lisa Beamer, about her husband who was on the plane that crashed in PA on 9/11. If you have never read this book, you need too. It is so inspirational. I love to read this one chapter over and over again. It seems to give me hope when all is down and out. So, It is well with my soul. I too shall overcome what ever comes my way with faith in God.
Feb. 27, 2009
ONE YEAR MIRACLE
WOW, has it been a month since I logged in? No updates on the weight, still holding at 120 lbs lost. I am coming up on my one year anniversary of my surgery. I still have 25 lbs to loose to hit my goal. They joke and say the last 25 are the hardest. I know why now. The past month has been cold, kids sick, me sick, so I am just waiting to get … Read Moreback on the loosing side of things. I am actually looking forward to signing up in a few weeks for the Peachtree Roadrace again. Me, Tina, excited about a 5k race! Yeah. I get into the socializing that goes on during it. My son will run it again with me this year. I am looking forward to improving my time again. I need to get to practicing, but as usual, I am waiting till the last minute. If I was a serious runner, I would run year round! Yeah, real funny! Me a runner. Anyhow, that is where I am right now. Trust me, If I moved from my weight, I will be shouting it from the roof tops.
March 29, 2009
Still holding at same weight. I am hoping the warmer weather will get me moving more outside and loose my last 25 lbs. My goal is to have it off by my bday this summer. I will be turning the big 40. I am already planning my party for myself! ha ha Zach and I are signed up for the Peachtree again this summer. We have actually mapped out us a 1.25 mile run around the neighborhood. I can’t run it straight yet, but working on it. If it would warm up and stop raining, I would do it more.
April 1, 2009
One Year and One Month
I am still holding at 120 lbs lost. I am hoping the spring time gets me moving and loosing. My goal is to have the last 25 lbs off by July 30, my 40th bday present to myself.
April 4, 2009
Interesting week. I have ran into several people who are just now noticing my weight loss. They all had lots of questions. The most popular question is, would you do it a gain. Heck yeah I would. They also ask a lot of personal questions. The main one being, do you have more energy? Not really, I just have a better type of energy. Did you loose friends? Yes, I did. Do you like shopping? Sometimes, but mostly no. I am still the type of person who finds one thing she likes and buys it in every color! ha ha My favorite shopping place is Sam’s Club! ha ha What has amazed you most? My shoe sized change! It really did and that is mind boggleing to me.
The question that has lingered with me all week is did you loose friends. Unfortunately, yes I did. My friend who also had the surgury told me I would. I really didn’t believe her, but I must admit she was correct. Yeah, I am admitting I was wrong! ha ha. There are several reasons you will loose friends over weight loss, the main one being jealousy at varying degrees, the second being interest change, and the third is a mixture of a lot things. It is hard to believe and it has been emotionally hard for me to take. I expected my friends to be there for me and be as joyful as I have been thru this one year process. Instead, I have lost a few. This has been hard for me to understand and accept, however, I am going to have to do just that. The bright side of this that I have made so many new friends with my weight loss. I was told that the old Tina is back. That confused me. But now as I think back over the 10+ years that I have been fighting this weight battle, I guess the old Tina is back. Weight does a lot of things to you. It makes you very insecure of yourself. Yes, I am insecure, but I am good at putting on a positive front. Weight also messes with your self esteem. I have a very low self esteem and seem to beat myself up a lot over silly stuff. This is something that I have always battled. So, you can see that not only are you changing your outside, you have to work on your inside. I have been having to learn to love myself again and believe that I can and I am doing something. It is still hard to look in the mirror and see my new self. I still catch myself going into the plus section in the store, I still tend to sway towards cloths that hide my body, all these are the self image stuff. This has to be worked on dailey, hourly, and every minute. Just a little reflecting and trying to understand all that is changing.
April 6, 2009
I spoke with the doctors office today. The main question was “why am I so cold”. I have joked that I lost all my insulation and somewhat that is true. There are also hormonal and other changes going on in my body that are causing this. They said this is normal and will eventually level out. Wish me luck. Either that or I need warm weather SOOOn.
120 lbs total lost
120 lbs total lost
May 5, 2009
I had a moment today where I was amazed at myself. I had to go get salt for my pool. I had to get 3 – 40 lb bags. That is 120 lbs, exactly what I have lost so far. I had to lift these three bags into my buggy and push it to the check out. I could not push the buggy. How in goodness name did I have this much extra weight on my body. I must have waddled like a duck when I walked. I got tears in my eyes when I realized how far I have come. Even though I am suck at this weight for three months straight, I know that I can get those last 25 lbs off. If I have lost this much, I can keep going. I have to stay positive.
May 26, 2009
FINALLY, I have weighed the same for week. I have shed two pounds! Finally I have lost some weight after being at the same for sooooo long. I have 23 more to go to my goal.
July 1, 2009
Still hanging in there. That last 23 is going to kill me! Ha ha. I have had to buy bathing suits. Wow is that an experience. Not the same trama as in years past. I recently visited my mom in ky. It was fun to see people who had no clue who I was. That I enjoyed. Lots of questions about my surgury. I am always willing to share. I am still having… Read More issues with my hormones. That is a combination of the dramatic weight loss, stress, and i guess age. Ha ha. I hope to get that under controll soon. My system hasn’t been this messes up since I had Bailey five years ago. After her it too over a year to get me stable.
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